I'm sick

That is my only way to describe myself when it comes to certain things. One thing would be my dog Sadie.

We all know how lonely it is to be a stay-at-home Mom sometimes. Especially when you're isolated from friends and family. You try and meet other Moms and venture out sometimes to playgroups, YMCA, and other kiddie hangouts, but more often than not you never find anyone that clicks. Finding someone who can understand half hick/half whatever the other half of me is can be rather tricky. I don't even understand myself most of the time, how am I to expect complete strangers to.

Having said all that, for Christmas last year, during one particular week moment on my husband's part, he agreed on an indulgence of a brand spanking new puppy. A little buddy that could be all my own when everyone is gone, leaving Mama all alone with nothing to do except laundry. As much grief and angst as this sweet little darling causes me, I love her. I have developed a rather tight bond with her, and she with me. The thing about a dog is, they never cease to show you how much they adore you. If I'm sitting on the couch, Sadie is sitting with me. If I'm trying to catch up on some of my lost zzzzz's, she's snuggling cozily beside my growing belly. If I'm having a tinkle moment in the bathroom, she's looking up at me with big brown eyes waiting for me to finish my business so we can cuddle again. She LOVES her some Mama.

I'm suffering great anxiety today. Anxiety caused from having to leave my puppy at a hospital for two nights to have surgery. Two very long and agonizing nights my baby will be separated from her Mama. This is going to be more traumatic for her than me because I swear the dog suffers from separation anxiety as it is. When she goes out to pee in the morning she freaks out when she comes back in because she was away from her family for an agonizing 15 seconds.

I know it's silly to feel so sad about my dog getting fixed. She is only going in to get spayed. It will probably aide in making her a calmer and more enjoyable dog and keep her healthy for years to come. Dogs can get all kinds of ailments in their reproductive organs if not spayed. I don't want her getting sick and I certainly don't want her having sex with any other dogs either. So we HAVE to do this. She will be in the capable hands of my husbands aunt, the vet, her surgery will be free of charge and we can do all this in one quick trip to the in-laws.

Maybe it's not so much leaving Sadie that is causing me the stress as much as the quick trip to the in-laws. Who knows.

I'll survive, Sadie will survive and all will be well. No more handmade doggie diapers. No more bitchy puppies struggling puberty. It's straight into menopause for my little babe.

I know, I need help. Or a couple of friends. Dogs are easier.