Please, allow me to bend over...

before you fuck me up the ass.

As previously mentioned I have a hard time sticking up for myself. It's nearly impossible for me to do this with anyone and everyone minus a few exceptions. Well, one exception...the hubby. For some reason I'm more than capable of voicing my opinions with him, and regularly at that.

I provide daycare for two children in my home while their parents are hard at work. One child is in school with my daughter and I earn $50.00 per week while the little darlings are in school. During summer vacation, I stupidly assumed that I would be getting a considerable raise since I went from watching her 20 hours per week to 50. Not only do I provide care for this child, I provide most snacks and meals with the exception of the baked good her Mommy so kindly includes once or twice a week. By baked good I mean a cookie or two for the kids to have for their morning or afternoon snack or maybe even dessert at lunch. Whoopee, thanks for the contribution.

Back to why I need to bend over.......I got a call from her the last week school was in and she and her husband were talking over coffee and homemade cookies and decided they would give me more money for the summer. Yes, a whopping $10 or $20 more a week. I was stunned and tongue tied. I was overjoyed at their thoughtfulness, however I felt a sharp pain in my big red fucking eye and wondered who the hell could be dry fucking my asshole right here in broad daylight. She mentioned she would be contributing more food for the summer and such and was so damn nice on the phone I couldn't nay say to save my own life. (So far she has brought an apple and 4 no bake cookies. Oh, and she's a Bush supporter.......need I say another fucking word?)

Of course she was nice on the phone. She has two kids, one of which I watch, one which plays down the road. Of course she wants to pay me so little since she has to pay full price at a certified daycare for her son. Of course she is going to try and pay as little as she can and I'm going to fucking let her because I'm a freaking coward. I feel like I'm pushed into a corner because if she leaves I lose our grocery money for the summer. Ever try buying groceries for 3 people on $60-$70 a week? It's a bit difficult, especially with a pregnant lady who regulars the fridge constantly. Not too mention I feed her kid, too.

So maybe there is a slight embellishment on the amount of money we have for groceries. Jamie's meager stipend provides for all of our bills and part of our food/gas money for each week and my babysitting is only a supplement. But I assure you it's not as if my little check is paying for the maternity clothes I so desperately need, or the cut my hair is screaming for. I'm near pulling one of these if I don't get into a hairdresser soon. I cower into a corner when I think of dealing with the issue because I can't handle the anxiety I feel when faced with confrontation.

Today is especially tough because it's payday time. I get my money every Friday morning. I guess this week she decided that $60 instead of $70 was enough since her husband picked the kid up an hour early yesterday. Or maybe it was because I only had her for 7 hours last week and she actually paid me over $2/hour. I don't know what her thinking is I guess. But I know this, my ass friggen hurts. And I need to grow a fucking back bone.