Sunday, July 16, 2006

Can someone just hold my hand for me?

I'd feel a whole lot better.

I'm going to have the conversation with the Mom. I despise being such a wuss. Who would have thought that I would have such huge problems with my voice. I called her about 45 minutes ago, but was relieved to find they weren't home and that a message would have to be left.

I hate the anxiety that cripples me whenever an uncomfortable discussion approaches. While the phone was ringing my heart began to race, the shoulders tightened and I could of sworn I felt a contraction coming on. It is near frightening for me to speak on my own behalf.

Anyway, I'm gonna suck it up and take a chance at being brave. The worst she can say is no. Frankly, if that is what she needs to say then so be it. I'd rather be eating pb&j on moldy bread every day than be taken for an idiot. It reeks havoc on the self esteem and I've got enough problems with that as it is.

I'll let you know how it goes.

4 comments:

Amanda said...

Anticipation is worse than the real thing. Promise.

mama said...

You're right....it's always much worse in all cases except maybe for the gas chamber....that sucked way more than I thought it was going to. I guess I should have compared it to that much sooner.

The phone conversation was a piece of cake and her cheery voice alone calmed my nerves ten fold. It actually went very well and all is right with the world again.

I need to learn how to deal with these situations a lot better. Somewhere along the way I misplaced my nerve and have yet to come across it again. Maybe when I'm 40 it'll turn up. Let's hope it doesn't take that long. Baby steps.

Renée said...

So I take it you spoke with her? If you haven't or for future situations, do what I do. I write my conversation down IN BIG WRITING as to what points I want to make. Because when you're nervous, don't you forget what you want to say? I know I do. Anyway that helps me. I'm glad to hear it's okay now!

mama said...

I'm right there with ya. I always forget my most valid points when I'm nervous and end up sounding like a moron stuttering all over the place. I managed this conversation without too much babbling, but for future reference I will try writing my thoughts out before hand.

Sometimes being a grown up is sooo hard. 8-)