Be My Valentine

What does Valentine mean to me? Certainly not what it meant 15 years ago. I remember the candy, cards, cute little stuffed teddy bears with affectionate love letters written on their tummies. When exactly does the meaning of love change for a person. When do you lose the knowledge you had as a young, bright, teenage wonder? I knew it ALL when I was 15, 16...ect. I was in love with a young man and my world crumbled when we fell apart. Then, in search of the missing link of my childhood, I resorted to an older man for the remaining teenage years. Finally, at the age of 20, a stroke of genius hit me and I moved on. I blew the dust off my wings and chose to fly away from my small town life to find a better home. Less than two years later I was in love yet again (though this time a much better choice) and walking down the isle to marry the man who later would father my child. We met, we blinked, we married. I have no idea who I was at that age, though, at the time had many ideas about who I was and who I'd become. I had no idea who he was at that age, though, I had explored every part of him my brain could comprehend at the time. We've grown up together and still growing as companions taking the same path in hopes we can grow old gracefully and watch our grandchildren give their parents hell.

Valentine's Day now means something very different to me. Every day is my Valentine's Day. I love him as much today as I did yesterday, if not more, and tomorrow I probably will love him just as much again. When I hate him, I still wouldn't be able to picture my life without him or give a moments thought to raising our child without him by my side.

I got so mad I moved my panties out one time....right into our guest bedroom. That was it for me. I was done. The next day I moved my panties back. I don't know why I chose my underwear.....to this day it makes me laugh out loud. Not relevant at all....but even the most loving relationships falter......a year of counseling and many talks later I never moved my panties out or even thought of going that far again.

I don't have butterflies anymore, but I feel empty when he's not here to tuck me in at night.
I don't cry if he wants to do something with someone else besides me, I am happy he has his individuality because I know how much mine means to me.
I don't second guess where I will be in 5 years, I know I won't be alone, whatever we do and wherever we go, it will always be with the other.
I'll never say no to a challenge or be too scared to take a risk as long as he is there with me. I'll even jump first if I have to.

He knows I'm scared of dogs, while walking he will take the side the dog is on for me. Even if the dog is smaller than my foot.

We act really stupid sometimes when we're alone together and laugh at how dumb the other is.

We say I love you more in one day than some do in an entire year.

We are best friends.

I miss the butterflies, but there is so much more to love than butterflies, candy, cards and cute teddy bears.

Waking up to your husband kissing your cheek and tucking you in before he leaves for work even after he's woken up to the same puffy eyes and tricked out hair for nearly a decade is priceless. I can be me.....100% flaws and all me.