Nothing Special.
Kind of a blah place right now. Nothing much going on. I just got back from my visit home. Still boring, but still home. Doesn't matter where I'm at in the world, I've always missed that place. Whether it be the potato fields, the blinking light, the stars at night, and perhaps the people there, I have always had a sense of home there. Anyway, it was uneventful, outside of getting obnoxiously exhausted and mentally crazy. However, that isn't so far from the norm anyway. Funny how you travel 13 hours to get there and people that live 15 minutes away still feel the need to make youdrive to them so they can visit you.
NOW, the best thing about that trip was going home. I love my Mum, and I love my family, but damn if I don't feel like I just don't belong there anymore. I guess it's true that you can never go home again. I've been gone so long now it's hard to imagine what life would be like if I were living there, or worse, stayed there. Oh God. I can't even contimplate the disasterous future that would of been waiting for me. Some people get lucky there, and some don't. I just can't see myself getting that lucky.
OK, back to why it was so much fun to come home. I got to see my little baby yesterday. How amazing, how wonderful, how indesribable it is to see your creation floating in it's watery heaven, clueless of the outside world awaiting it. I'm just beside myself thinking about how special this will be for us all this time around. S. will play such an instrumental part in this little child's life. It will truly be a different experience from the beginning and change our lives forever. I'm so anxious. I am so excited about our new adventure. What a wonderful blessing that we've been given. I'm scared, sad, crazy, but obnoxiously giddy all at the same time. Pregnancy really fucks with a woman's sanity, eh?
2 comments:
You should've called me! No biggie, I understand trying to fit in 50 visits in one week. Glad you got to see your peanut, pretty cool stuff. How far along now? You going to find out the sex? I couldn't not find out, too big a secret for me to keep!
I know, I know....there are a ton of people I should've called. I do my best, I know you understand, though. You've been through the whole, call me and well get together. There never seems to be enough days to call anyone. The sisters live outside of Bangor now which opens a new can of worms all together....I needed three days to sleep it all off.
BABY!! I am so happy I got a birds eye view. Hubby was super jealous because he passed on the visit not knowing a sonogram was spontaneously awaiting. Anyway, 12 weeks and counting and I'm totally finding out the sex. I can't be waiting 40 weeks to find that out. I'm not nearly patient enough. The peanut is pretty cute and quite strong I think. Could always be gas, but I swear sometimes I get a little jab if my shrinking pants get a little too tight for comfort in there. Not much longer and I'll be bringing out the tents.
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