I Can't Wait.

I know I have to, I know there really is no speeding the process of growing a human, but I can't help it. I just want to fast forward to November and meet this baby so much it hurts.

In my first pregnancy I was excited, but confused, young and niave about parenthood. I knew that I was having a baby with the absolute love of my life, but I was torn. We had all of two months to spend any time as a married couple before we were pregnant. The first year we were husband and wife he was on the other side of the globe. I missed him terribly and counted the months, days, minutes til' his return. I was rudely awakened when I noticed how different the two of us had become in just 12 months time. So re-aquainting ourselves with one another would take some time. This baby we were UN-expecting really threw a wrench in our plans to re-enlist and try the mid west out for a spell, travel, share our lives together the way we dreamed about the entire first year of our marriage.

I was happy to be carrying our first baby and we talked about this many times before, but as mentioned above, we just weren't prepared. We had no idea how our lives would change. For the better, but some definite changes were in immediate order. I hadn't the awareness of how wonderfully awesome creating life really is. What a miracle we had just been given.

NOW, I know this miracle. I have secretly longed for another baby for quite some time. We just didn't know how we were going to do it. Financially, it just has never been the right time.

It still isn't the right time financially, but who cares. We'll be fine and the joy that comes with new little babies will abound and our family will feel all the more complete for it.

I just don't want to wait is all. I'm so freaking excited to smell my baby's head. I can hardly even think about tiny fingers grasping mine without getting giddy and ridiculously happy. I'm going to be so selfish with my bonding time. I'm going to enjoy so much more of the "moments" than I did the first time around. I'm not so confident to say that I won't totally lose my composure and feel overwhelmed, but I will get through it, just as I did the first time around.

OMG, baby, hurry up. I can't even deal with how cute you're going to be.

I love you.