Where do the minutes go?

The next two months are going to fly by for me. Emily's birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. After that, 35 year mile marker & 13th wedding anniversary. Half of my thirties are over and can I just say, where the frig did they go? Because I've been feeling like a zombie and in baby mode for a lot of that time.

Emily's 4th birthday. I am so happy to see this milestone arrive and yet each day I look at her and realize how quickly she's grown from a baby to this not a toddler, not yet a kid stage and I get a little pang of sadness. It lasts about a minute and then I start doing the happy dance that EMILY'S GOING TO BE FOUR!!! Fourteen more to go. LOL - Just kidding. She keeps us all on the edge of our seats and we're loving every minute of it. Yeah, every adorable minute.

Just look at her....



Thanksgiving will be particularly busy this year because I'm planning a trip to see my mother in Tennessee. I'm so nervous about this for many reasons. One being away from the kids and leaving Jamie to fend for himself. The second being the worst and that is the potential of this visit with mom being my last real memory of us together. She might even have moments that she doesn't know who I am since dementia is starting to steal her memories through parts of the day. I'm not sure what it'll be like but it certainly isn't going to be easy. I try not to go there in my mind too much because it's like losing her even though she's still here. I can't just stand on the bridge waiting until it's time to cross. It's too painful.

December will be a little bit more lighthearted. I have two small children who are going to freak OUT over Santa and his endless generosity. Okay, so it won't be endless - my check book isn't that big, but we'll have fun. I'll bake, play carols on Pandora and light candles. I look forward to decorating and watching the anticipation build. It's my favorite time of year, children most certainly keep you young if nothing else.