Something in a Sunday

Sunday is an either way day for me. I either feel amazingly close to all my family and friends or the loneliest of lonely. More often than not it's the latter. I think Johnny Cash sang it best... (Kris Kristoffereson wrote the song - man, he wrote some good country tunes, no?)

"On the Sunday morning sidewalk,
Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cos there's something in a Sunday,
Makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothin' short of dyin',
Half as lonesome as the sound,
On the sleepin' city sidewalks:
Sunday mornin' comin' down."

I've had this talk a million times with my sister. About how hard Sundays are for the both of us at times. I was reminded when I saw a FB update of one of my friends. Sunday's seem to be the hardest for her right now too.

When I think long and hard on these sad Sundays, I feel rather grateful in a guilt filled sort of way. What makes me so worthy of a healthy family, a great husband and all the love I could possibly hope for? It's hard accepting that gift sometimes. I'm the kind of person who wants it all for everyone. It's incredibly difficult for me to watch someone go through life with less than what I have and not try and fix it. It's frustrating to me that the rest of the world doesn't feel the same. We should all have equal everything. Why does one person deserve to have riches beyond measure and another struggle just to have a strange bed to sleep in at night?

Now I'm sad again. Something in a Sunday I guess. I wish I could do more for people who need and deserve it. I wish Life were a little more about fair and a little less about luck.