Something great is happening here.

I have definitely felt a shift inside myself. A long time coming if you ask me. We moved here five years ago and since then I've waited for something to happen but nothing ever really took shape.

Wonder why? Within 15 minutes of meeting everyone I dropped the information that I wasn't here for the long haul. We were here for Jamie's graduate work and moving on. Who in their right mind would bother to take the time for someone who seems closed off right out of the gate?

I do give myself some credit. I joined the PTA and tried to get involved there, but again, I wasn't talking or sharing the right parts of me. I encouraged Sydney to join Girl Scouts, but yet another wash in terms of finding a place for me. The group of women involved in both groups were definitely not the people I was supposed to be with I don't think. There weren't any connections there and it all felt very forced. I wasn't completely at fault, but I admit I didn't try very hard after feeling that initial sting of rejection.

Since joining the ladies at the Family Room inside the elementary school my daughter attends, a whole new world has opened up for me. A world with friends in it!! I can't even begin to describe what a relief this has been. I still have work to do with regards to building relationships but we're getting there. I am still working on listening more and not dominating a conversation. I try really hard to be thoughtful when I'm there but sometimes my mouth gets the better of me. Not in an ignorant way, just a little too enthusiastic perhaps. People want to know me, but first they want to share themselves and I'm so eager to share myself that I get a little ahead of the game.

I also have a bit of other news to share! News that I have been thinking about non stop since the weekend.

I missed out on a trip to visit with my mother last week that has been planned for a few months. Figures the weekend I picked to go would be the time we get the one big storm in our neck of the woods for the entire winter. All my flights were canceled. Good news is I can reschedule without paying any fees and I think Tennessee might be a lot more inviting in April or May anyway.

Instead of wallowing for the weekend and feeling sorry for myself I decided to stay positive and make other plans. Luckily, my mother in law drove up to help my husband with the girls while I was on my supposed trip. She was here to watch our girls for us. I got to go out and compete in a karaoke contest with my husband to cheer me on! I was amazed at the boost in my confidence level knowing he was there to watch me. I didn't win, but close! I missed the top prize by only 1 point, but I qualified for the big contest the end of April which has 5 cash prizes ranging from $500.00 - $100.00 and a top prize for a trip to VEGAS!!

I was bummed that I missed out on the $100.00 prize for the evening, but not so much because the winner sang a wicked tight Sublime tune and although my vocals were better (said by everyone there), his performance was pretty sweet. Both my husband and I really enjoyed what he brought to the evening.

In the end, the night ended up being pretty fantastic actually. Jamie and I haven't been to a place like that together in a very long time and we both enjoyed it a lot. Plus the most amazing thing happened that night! Another woman approached me and gave me her demo CD to listen to and asked if I was interested in joining her in forming a duo. I took a listen the next day and gave her a call. She has all her own equipment and she plays small gigs a couple times a month. The person she sings with now has too much going on and she'd like to work with someone different, ME!!

I couldn't have asked for a more perfect arrangement. I don't want to be in a high stress environment with a bunch of dudes in a band. I want low key, I want to sing, and I want people watching me! haha. Yes, I want to showboat a little and gain confidence, who doesn't want to share what they're good at? If you don't use your talent you get rusty so I couldn't be more excited about the possibilities of this opportunity. If it works out well I could get out a few times or more each month and get to do what I love. AND MAKE MONEY at the same time!!!! :)

So I'm happy, it wasn't how I pictured myself using my talent years ago, but it is what will work for my family and for me right now. So in my book that is nothing short of amazing.