I'm too excited to sleep!!

My mind goes crazy at bed time and especially when am anticipating something. Next week I am going home for a visit and I'm really geared up for a taste of Maine. I miss it so much.

I miss the people there more.

It's so hard doing this sacrifice thing. I want to be closer to my friends and family so bad it makes my heart hurt. My dear friend hit the nail on the head in describing her need for home. It's an emergency that we are so far away. Once a Maniac always a Maniac I guess. It's true what the say, home is where the heart is. And while I am sure that my home is where my beloved and DD's are, a piece of me will always reside in Maine.

I'm scattered really. The county, Bangor, MDI, Gouldsboro. Each place represents a part of my life and I plan to revisit each one as long as the memory still breaths. I could say the same for other places I've lived but it wouldn't hold the same meaning. None hold that feeling of urgency for me that Maine does.

Something about crossing that thresh hold between New Hampshire and Maine. A relief blows over me along with the salty air and I am where I want to be. I take in every moment, every smell, every starry night and try to brand it into my memory because I know it will be a long winter before I see it, taste it, smell it again.

I may or may not get to move home in a year. I may end up living farther away. I hate the thought of it but what was the point of all this sacrifice if we don't take the opportunity where it presents itself. I may end up missing, cherishing and branding for the rest of my life.

If it happens that way I'll just have to live with the emergency. But at least I'll never have the misfortune of taking it all for granted.