To my First Born

You are beautiful and I Love You. I hope you know that you are always going to be special. My first baby. I never truly knew love until the moment I laid eyes upon your beautiful face.

I remember every detail of our first meeting vividly as if it were last night. You were born after an emergency c-section and I didn't get to see you until four hours after your birth. It felt like I had to wait years to hold you in my arms. Then finally a nurse wheeled you into our tiny shared room and I held you for the first time.

You cried.

"She has the cutest little cry I've ever heard." I said.

"Tell me that in a few months." said the nurse.

We laughed.

But I never got tired of listening to you cry. In fact I thought it was so cute sometimes I would scare you on purpose (not real bad...just a little rah) just to hear you cry. Then I would hug you and tell you everything was okay because mama was right here.

I never said I was a healthy 24 year old mother. But I was trying my best. :-)

Your Father and I went through this learning process together as young newly weds. We had been married only two years when you were born and half of that he spent on tour in Korea with the Army. We barely knew each other.

You bonded us forever with our shared love for the most beautiful child we had ever laid eyes on. You rocked our world to the very core and life has been so full and blessed ever since you came to us on your bright, shining star.

So maybe I carved your name in your special pumpkin we grew upside down. No matter, you are the greatest gift ever given and no matter how many babies come our way you are always going to be MY first. No one will ever be able to take your place in my heart.

If I could make just a few requests....

I don't want to seem selfish or ungrateful for my beautiful babe screaming bloody murder in the next room, but would it be horrible if I were to wish for one that was quieter this time 'round. One that didn't wail from morning to...well..morning.

Could this new baby have an easier time with teething perhaps?

And maybe this one won't walk at 10 months. Let's shoot for say, 13 months. Just old enough but not so old that I would worry.

I would also like to put in for a mild, even tempered baby. One that cried or talked even for food, diaper or sleep would be great.

Also one that eats whatever I put in front of him or her without much fuss. Would it be too brazen to ask for one that slept through the night at around 3 months, breastfeeding and all? Lets shoot for a 3 hour feeding schedule by day with little to no puke in the face afterward and 5 solid sleeping hours at night, if you could manage 10 straight hours I wouldn't argue.

Since I'm asking, one that was potty trained, never sick and talking in complete, polite sentences at birth would be fantastic. If they had a job that would be okay, too. Rent money would help cover the cost of booze that I will need to consume once this child is off the boob. A trust funder would be ideal if you could.

Reaching, reaching, reaching for the stars here, I know. But after the last two years, I'm entitled to a few requests. Any or all that can be filled would be much appreciated.

P.S. Please make my husband lactate this time.

Eventually

I will stop making babies.

We are pregnant.

Again.

The Littlest Thief

My baby is trying to steal someone else's lovey. And if you're childless and unsure of what a lovey is then think of your most prized possession and imagine someone stealing it from you every time they saw you with it. That's what E is doing the the girl toddler I care for.

She has her beloved "Ellie", which is a fluffy elephant she was given on her 1st birthday. Since receiving this special stuffed animal she has carried it around without fail and refuses to sleep without it. It's her special thing that brings comfort and joy to her life beyond compare. Never has she loved another toy as much as her elephant.

And my daughter will not stop taking it from her and hugging it with all her might. Every time the girl toddler arrives her little face lights up and shrieks of happiness and delight fill the house. One would think, aww, she likes to see my favorite girl toddler come to visit.

Nope.

She loves her lovey. And that's it.

The minute she walks through the door E immediately walks over with her hands waving in elation and snags that little elephant right from the hands of the unsuspecting girl toddler. Lucky for me, the girl toddler reluctantly hands over her beloved without much fuss.

Not that she has to, either. This is her special toy and I don't make the kids share everything. They are allowed one or two things that are all their own that they can tuck safely away from the sticky, predatorial hands of the other monkeys. Everyone should have a little piece of themselves that is all their own.

I am very proud of her for sharing her lovey. What a big milestone for her to share something so precious to her. For me, it would be like sharing a piece of cheese cake with blueberry topping and the last person who tried lost a finger. I could take lessons from this young person.

My big challenge now is to keep my youngest from becoming a clepto.

Reality

An excerpt from True Mom Confessions. Not as much a confession as it is a plea...and a valid one at that.

"my sister died last saturday in a horrible car accident. she was driving, wearing her seatbelt, and someone crossed the yellow line and hit her head on. that someone was texting while driving.
my sister was 28 years old. she was my best friend. i don't know if i can go on without her. i had just talked to the day before and i didn't say "i love you" before i hung up the phone.

i hate myself.

please don't ever text and drive. my sister would still be alive if that other person hadn't. and my 5 year old nephew would still have his mommy. now he has no one. his dad died in iraq."


The number of accidents caused by driver distraction is greater than even driver intoxication.

Cheat

I caved.


Animal crackers for snack today.



I know, I know.

I'm an idiot.

S thought it was funny.

My grocery cart

was packed full of fruits, veggies, a few new spices and various types of beans.

I'm so excited for this new change. Like I said, I have no idea how I plan to convert my family over to a veggie table but I'm going to give it a try. I'm not going to kill myself if I have chicken parm and I'm not going to expect those around us to comply with our eating habits when cooking a meal to share with us.

And we're having turkey on Thanksgiving. Because traditions are traditions and I guess you could call me a hypocrite but I feel like any change for the better beats staying the same.

Funny, I asked the hubster last night what he thought we should do and we both agreed one turkey isn't going to deplete the ozone, not even a day later S was all...."are we still having turkey on Thanksgiving?" Hahaha.

I'm not saying to the world that I am all high and mighty about making this large sacrifice for animals or for the environment and that we will be bionic healthy homosapeans and the rest of you will rot the flesh off your bones by poisoning your body with the blood of other animals; that's just not the way we roll here . And I will occassionally indulge. We all will. I don't think I could swear off taco's forever and I'm 100% positive that S won't.

But every little thing you do helps.

Every time you slow your car by 5 mph you save gas. Everytime you recyle anything you're helping. Anytime you plant a tree. Anytime you take a brisk walk. Anytime you choose to take just one small step in saving yourself, the environment, or even an animal's life you're improving the world.

Anyway, I'm opening the floor for any ideas to helps us along our journey or even a yummy vegetarian recipe you serve your own family. If I try anything super fantastic that you all just have to try, I will post it.

Vegetarianism, it's not just a good idea.

It's about living a lifestyle that promotes not only healthier living but also protects our planet as well as the lives of innocent animals.

Unthinkingly, I clicked on a video from a random person's myspace account. It was her mini platform for why she didn't eat red meat. I have to admit that I was saddened by the contents of the short documentary-like film. And since that day my husband and I have been discussing the big conversion.

I guess I've never really thought of the process for the animals. The birth, immediate separation from their mothers, and crowded living conditions is heart wrenching without even considering their death or the painful procedures they endure. Chickens have their beaks cut off without painkillers, pigs have tails cut and teeth pulled, cows suffer branding, castration and dehorning. The list goes on and on. The cruelty is unbelievable and regardless of organic or free range conditions, atrocities are still occurring every single day by the meat industry.

Now assuming I could ignore the treatment of animals, there are still other things to consider like health problems arising due to the unhealthy consumption of meat. Research has shown that vegetarians are at lower risk for obesity, heart disease and various forms of cancer.

Hmm...you don't say. Personally, I'm not so concerned about the obesity part or the heart disease, but I do notice the rising occurrence of cancer in our country and can't help but think there's a possible connection. Not that the other two aren't serious concerns we should all consider, but I believe genetics and lifestyle plays an important role in the first two circumstances. That's not to say that cancer, genetics and lifestyle don't interact together in some way, but even someone who manages to bypass obesity or coronary heart disease simply by practicing adequate portion control and consuming less fatty meat could still be at a high risk for cancer.

Why? Because of the antibiotics and chemicals pumped into animals we eat in order to make them grow bigger and faster than ever before. This ensures a quicker and larger profit in the pockets of the assholes running the industry. We all know when it comes to money, morals don't always play an important role in the minds of those lining their pockets.

For me, another valid point is the damage, caused by raising animals for consumption, to our environment. I was shocked to learn that nearly half of the water consumption here in the U.S. is used to raise animals for food. Studies show that a vegetarian diet requires roughly 300 gallons of water per day compared to that of a meat-based diet, which is 4,000 gallons. Staggering numbers really, especially since we are at high risk of a water shortage at some point in our lives, if not our children's. There is also the risk of polluting our rivers and lakes due to the run off from factory farms. Farmed animals will produce 130 times the excrement as the entire human population of the United States.

It is also said that high levels of airborne methane due to the waste produced by animals is one of the culprits for global warming. The Environmental Protection Agency has warned that methane is 20 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than even carbon dioxide.

I will be honest, I have no idea how I'm going to implement this lifestyle into our home. I have been a meat-eater for 31 years and have never had the desire to change until now. And not because I am turned off by the taste of meat since reading and watching video on this subject. I love me a big ol' bucket of chicken and nothing makes me happier than grilling a juicy steak on a summer's day, but I'm fairly certain Old McDonald didn't plan on the above. In fact, I think he'd be fairly disappointed that his pigs, chickens and cows were treated with such disregard. We are taught to treat animals with respect and love them....all except the one's we like to eat.

How's that for hypocrisy??? I just don't think that after learning about it I can honestly feel good about my food choices if there's a big old slab of ham sitting on my plate.