Wishing Well

I'm pulling out any and all karmic favors I may have hovering over me because now is the time. This cancer talk is morbid and scary and makes me want to put my head under the covers and pretend that it isn't happening but reality strikes every time.

His scenario isn't as bleak as originally thought. I had him dead by summer's end. That is a horrible thing to think or say but in the business he's currently in - realistically, but with a whole shit ton of optimism, is the only way to deal with cancer. Doctors and Scientists have made strides in treating cancer and his lucky stars were aligned because he is being treated in Canada.

So...universal health care. You know, a lot of people will talk about how this particular system doesn't work and how people are slipping through cracks - one being my step-father, honestly speaking. I admit, people do fall through the cracks but I would dare say ours are bigger. People in non-emergency situations may not have the best of care but at least they're receiving care. People are refused treatments here if they can't pay for them, even though they're readily available. What's that tell you? My mother would be bankrupt and dead if she had been treated in the U.S., and subjected to our healthcare system. I am not even kidding. Her surgery was performed by a cutting edge surgeon and even then, he had not removed a tumor of that size to date. It would have been considered exploratory here, I imagine, and most likely, not covered.

The prognosis for Brent is looking a lot better, though I think he's having a tough time with the thought of adjusting to the new lifestyle he will need to adopt. The liver cancer is there but might be able to be contained. Apparently they are hoping the radiation/chemo will shrink the size of the cancer, and the specialists in Halifax (where my mom was treated) will have a chance at cutting it out. If they can do that, his liver can re-grow and maybe his chances of survival are a lot higher than we thought, which is great news!!

So I'm standing at the wishing well, throwing in all my pennies and praying that the cancer is treatable. I don't want to see him fade away into nothing before he even turns 50. I don't want this for my mom, who has been having the decade of her life fighting to live. She needs him. We all do. I might not have always felt bonded with my step-father - it's a difficult bond to initiate when you've never had a father. But I love him - for her, if nothing else.