Business as usual...

January is zinging right along for me this year. A big change from the usual winter blues I experience around this time of year. What a difference it makes when you start to fill your life instead of waiting for it to fill itself.

Zumba instructor training is less than a week away and my first official Zumba class will be the following week! I am nervous but I am ready. This month I have scoured the internet for choreography ideas and developed a good set of songs to start with and tons on the back burner waiting for my personal touch. A month ago I was almost terrified to even begin this journey and now I'm moving along; rock steady and totally ready to bring a new form of exercise to the women in my area. I have many ideas on the direction to take my class and I can't wait to get started.

My girls are growing like weeds, too! Emily is attending school 3 days a week now and will begin kindergarten this fall. Abby will be in nursery school 2 or 3 days a week come fall as well. Sydney is a rock star in middle school and has already been named student of the month. It's like I'm dreaming the most fabulous dream. I am able to come out from the trenches and start my own little piece of something but still be here for my kids, which is non-negotiable at this point for me. I want to be here every step of the way throughout their childhood. Our kids need a strong support system and I'm so grateful that we can afford for them to have a mom at home. And 10 years ago I would have told you that you were absolutely crazy if you thought I'd be *that* kind of mother.

The singing hobby is still chugging along. The last year has been a ride for sure. Franki, my singing partner, has been a huge help in helping me discover myself again. She encourages and listens to my ideas and gives them merit. I am grateful to have found such a good friend here after 6 long years. We practice almost weekly and so far we have been invited to sing in one private club for special events and such and hoping to snag another very soon. If we could have one or two weekends a month to perform and have a fun time - that is enough for me. Singing will not bring me lots of dough but it does give me so much more. I can't even believe that all these opportunities have come into my life in the last year. I can't even believe that I feel so happy all the time vs. the miserable, pathetic mess that I was last winter.

I guess I'm off for now....

EXCITEMENT!!!

After much careful thought and consideration, I've decided to take the Zumba Instructor training course. I want to vomit because I'm obviously nervous but I can't sit back and watch from the sidelines any longer or travel 30 minutes to the nearest class. I have had this itch in my head for 6 months because I know there's a demand for it, it's just someone has to offer it.

I live in a town with a small fitness center and as of right now there isn't a single fitness class being held there. The woman that used to instruct has a full time job now and doesn't have time to pursue a license to officially instruct Zumba. She used to do a class similar and called it Danza but it never took off. She didn't have a specific routine, she made it up as she went along. I was lucky to burn 200 calories in the entire 45 minutes. I want more than that from a fitness class and I know there are women here in this town craving something like Zumba to help them reach their fitness goals. Patti's energy during class was great and she definitely has talent and passion, she's just a busy working mom now. I am not.

So as scared as I am to do something new, I'm so tired of thinking about doing something about it. I watch friends of mine launch out on their own with different things and build their own successes. I have watched my own husband, for the past 6 years, work towards his own goals and reach them. I watch and I envy. Envy is such a sad emotion and really not where I want to be. Yesterday, I thought about where that jealousy is coming from and realized that someone's success has NOTHING TO DO WITH MY LACK OF. Ding! I guess I knew that already but when you're stuck knee deep in fear you rationalize your inability to move forward in crazy ways. You make excuses for yourself and make it okay to wait just a little longer.

No one is going to push me over the edge, I have to jump. So I'm jumping. And I'm really nervous but I'm also really happy. My class is on February 4th in Rochester, about three hours away from here! ONE MONTH!! My husband is going with and we are taking the kids to a fun hotel and staying two nights to make a mini winter getaway out of it. And with all the writing off I'll be doing this year with my three businesses - I'll be keeping that receipt!

Anyway, WISH ME LUCK!!