I'm title-less today.

Is there such a thing as title less? Because if there is, that is where I'm at. I am lost in the trenches of motherhood and bodily fluids and see no end in sight. I've been puked, drooled, spit, urinated and crapped on this week and it's only Wednesday.

Honestly, there is no me right now. I want to enjoy this time in my baby's life and I try, try, try to live in the moment, but it's so fucking hard when I stink of 9 different kinds of baby goo. I try to find me in her, define myself as a mother and get my fulfillment as an individual from that, there just seems to be something lacking. I miss me, I want to find me and coax me out of that maternal ca coon and out into the real world again, if only just for an evening. Seriously, I am getting way too comfortable inside the walls I call my home. I am in serious need of adult interaction of some kind with someone other than the man I love (no offense honey).

I also need to get my hair did and lose 10 lbs.

I hate winter.

I'm almost 31 and haven't even come to terms with 30 yet.

Fuck.

Today has been a day that just needs a good flush.

I rarely have complete, intelligent thoughts anymore (that's assuming I actually did, at one time, have intelligent thoughts). And I'm not even stoned.

Fuck.

Valentine's Day sucks balls.

I'm going to be married for NINE years this month.

THIRTY-ONE SUCKS.

I want to have sex that doesn't make my vagina feel like it is going to fall off. Or maybe I do, but I want to enjoy it.

That's all.

I've nothing left to give right now. Even my fingers are too tired to participate.